Jericho was shut up tight as a drum because of the people of Israel: no one going in, no one coming out. Joshua 6:1 (MSG)

I love the above verse of scripture in the bible because I have learnt some vital lessons from it, and I want to share these vital lessons with you it will help you and your relationship.

It is the will of God for you to enjoy life to its fullest, to live happily and to live free. Free from sin, guilt, the bondage of the past, and from the fear of the unknown. Anything aside from this is not the will of God for you.

According to the above scripture, we were told that the people of Jericho locked their city to prevent the children of Israel from passing through their land. The question here is why? Why did the people of Jericho deny the children of Israel passage through their city?

The people of Jericho could have heard stories of how mighty the children of Israel have been, how they’ve conquered cities that confronted them and they became scared thinking the same thing will happen to them, and that was a great mistake they made.

Building your life around someone’s story could be the worst mistake of your life because you could trap yourself in their error without knowing it.

Have you tried finding out what lead to their pains or the true story behind the stories you are patterning your life after? Most times, certain stories we listen to are blown out of proportion, and we need to be careful about them.

The children of Israel had the intention of passing through the land of Jericho to the land promised to them by God without hurting them, but the Jericho people became scared of them, and they locked their city against the Israelites and trapped themselves within their city in return.

Trap in the experience of someone’s past:

Most times you need to be careful about the stories you listen to and accept because if you are not careful, you might live that life without knowing it.

Someone told you his or her experiences in a relationship, how she was molested, mistreated and emotionally wounded, and instead for you to learn from it, and trash the rest, you make it a deciding factor in your love life, denying others access into your life.

I have heard some persons said “they feel terrified to love because of the bad love stories of their mum, aunty or someone close to them”, and for that reason, they develop a hostile personality trait to scare people off them, mostly the opposite sex.

The fact it was an unpleasant experience for them doesn’t mean your story will be like theirs because your destiny differs from theirs.

How To Treat Someone’s Experience.

There are ways to handle the stories or life experiences of people you listen to and below are some ways.

Learn from it: There are different things we learn from in life, and the mistakes of people are one of them. Learn from the experience, use it to check or evaluate some of your decisions.

Protect yourself against it: When a terrible story is told, is to guide us from repeating the same mistake told in the story.

Trash it: When you’ve carefully taken out the useful lessons from the story to help you protect yourself against the negative outcome, trash the rest. Trash the fears in the story, because if you don’t trash them, you might live that story ignorantly.


You might have been wounded and abused emotionally, but that doesn’t mean you should shut the door of your heart against the outside world.

Most times wrong relationship decisions can lead you to regrettable emotional injuries, and if not carefully treated, can lead you into self-isolation, which might make you hostile towards the surrounding people, and towards life itself.


Experiences of the past are not meant to become your dwelling place, because dwelling in the past can blind your eyes to the realities of the now and the beauties in your future.

Not everybody that comes into your life is there to hurt you, some might be the very channel through which God wants to bring the desires of your heart into reality. So don’t let your experience make you become scared to embrace the future with a heart of possibility.

Trapping yourself in the memories of your past does nothing but deepen the wound and make you resentful towards life.

How to relate to your past?

Accept the fact that you made a mistake: The first step in dealing with your past, is to accept the fact that you made a mistake, accept you were hurt because until you come to terms with yourself about what happened, and accept it as it is, you will never break free from the bondage of the past.

Treat your past as a past event: Realize that your past is an experience in your life, and there is no reason for you to give it the power to control your present, and eventually your future. When you develop the habit of replaying the hurts in your mind, you are indirectly giving your past expression in your present life.

So when you have finally accepted the fact you were hurt, broken, etc. treat it as a past experience because it heals.

Learn from it: Making mistakes is part of life’s challenges, and how you treat them will either make you grow deeper in the pains of it or make you live strong above them.

One way to live strong above the mistakes of the past is never to make those mistakes as your dwelling place, but learn from them and trash the rest. Because there are many things to learn from in life, and that includes your past.

The Gate.

You see some people walking through life broken, sad and resentful towards life, carrying the images of the past everywhere they go, and they end up becoming hard on themselves, and hard towards people coming around them.

The city of Jericho had so much confidence in the strength of their mighty wall and their gate. They believed their fortified city was strong enough to deny the Israelites access into the city and strong enough to make them turn back, but that ignorant action of theirs led to their defeat.

Most times, hardness doesn’t reveal strength, but showcases weakness.

Emotional or frequent emotional injuries have a way of building a wall of defence around the individual as a means of protection, protecting the individual from getting further injuries. But if you don’t carefully synchronize this defence emotional mechanism, you might become hostile to everyone because you might see everyone as an enemy, even those that mean well to you.

Hardness most times reveal the depth of the injury.

Reverse Treatment And Defeat.

One result or effect of this unchecked emotional defence mechanism is a reversal. When you try to protect yourself and shut everyone out, you are also indirectly shutting and isolating yourself from reality.

When you deny others the opportunity to love you, you are indirectly denying yourself the right to be loved.

The people of Jericho had the intention to prevent the Israelites from entering the city, but they end up preventing themselves from going out of the city, and that caused lots of problems for them.

Hostility has done no one any form of good because it’s the quickest way to drag yourself into isolation and depression.

Low self-esteem

God wants you to value yourself, take good care of your thoughts because out of it produces the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23.

Thinking low about yourself kills the zeal to face life’s challenges with the required confidence that you need to win the battles of life, and it hinders you from the right perspective to grab the right opportunities life will openly offer you.

Granting the Israelites access through the land would have given the city of Jericho lots of opportunities to leverage on, and also built a lasting bond of friendship with the children of Israel, but they offered the hand of hostility to them because they saw defeat from afar, and that led to their destruction.

Inferiority complex or low self-esteem is a personality disease that originated from a weak mindset. It’s a self imprisoned lifestyle that traps the individual within his or herself weak thoughts.

Inferiority complex is a self-defeated personality that gives you the impression that everyone is better than you, and that you are a loser even before the battle bell rings. It’s not something we are born with, but it’s an environmental disease the individual permitted creeping into his mindset to cause harm to him.

When the people of Jericho closed the gate against the Israelites, they indirectly imprisoned themselves, and that deprived them of the opportunity of seeking help from the neighbouring countries. That’s exactly what an inferiority complex does to the individual.

A low self-esteem individual finds it hard to build a successful relationship because they are mostly withdrawn, suspecting, anxious about the unknown.

When the people of Jericho closed the gate against the Israelites, they isolated themselves from help. Isolation is a common trait of an individual who feels inferior and insecure because they feel threatened by the outside world, so they take solace within themselves.

Let Go and Grow

Any form of healing begins with acceptance. Accepting the pains, and letting go of it, is one way to heal yourself and grow out of them.

God is not only the healer of broken bones, but he’s also the healer of emotional injuries. So instead of locking up yourself, and denying yourself the opportunity to live life freely, allow God to heal your heart because he cares for you.

Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you carefully]. 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP).

Allow God to walk you out of any mental or emotional issues because that’s one reason he gave up his son to die for you.

Always remember no matter the challenges you encounter in life, don’t let it make you live the life of Jericho because the result of such a decision may or won’t favour your happiness in life. Live free!

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